/sigh...almost 1 year...
It's been a while since my last post. the last time was just a memory... of pain, coughing, fever, and being cold.
It's October now and around this time last year my parents were here. i miss them very much. this also was the time last year that ryan moved into the house. i remember that day my parents left for saipan clearly. it was so damn windy and cold. ryan and i were at home and we played X-men Legends. prior to that, the weather had been just the opposite; hot and dry.
now there are three of us in the house, not as lonely, but cozy. it's a good thing, but upkeep and maintenance has been a challenge to learn since i started living on my own.
october........................ugh october. i felt like i've grown a lot since last october. but i'm still very sore inside. being 'sick inside' made that winter almost unbearable. a whole can o' worms was opened and not really knowing how to deal with it didn't help. been on the meds now for almost a year and it's been a roller coaster..more like a kiddie rollercoaster...more like an adult on a kiddie rollercoaster. i've been a lot more stable, been a lot more assertive, been a lot more at peace. but the issues are still there, which is fine, but i'm not really looking to the coming winter.
please continue to pray for me.
some great things have happened though since my last post. i went home in april for vacation. it was one of the best experiences i've ever had in my life. relating to my parents the way i did was the highlight of the trip. i know my parents, i know of them, i know them as parents, and to a degree, as people and as friend. but i felt as though i've gained understanding. deeper than just simply 'knowing'. it was nurturing.
.........
ahhhhhhhhhh. i have to get to work. kellie is here but mahk isn't. which is good and bad. good because mahk is too hot too handle, and bad because of the fact that i have to be here. kellie is chill, and so are the rest of the people immediately next to me. decent people that i just don't know how to relate too.
to God...
It's October now and around this time last year my parents were here. i miss them very much. this also was the time last year that ryan moved into the house. i remember that day my parents left for saipan clearly. it was so damn windy and cold. ryan and i were at home and we played X-men Legends. prior to that, the weather had been just the opposite; hot and dry.
now there are three of us in the house, not as lonely, but cozy. it's a good thing, but upkeep and maintenance has been a challenge to learn since i started living on my own.
october........................ugh october. i felt like i've grown a lot since last october. but i'm still very sore inside. being 'sick inside' made that winter almost unbearable. a whole can o' worms was opened and not really knowing how to deal with it didn't help. been on the meds now for almost a year and it's been a roller coaster..more like a kiddie rollercoaster...more like an adult on a kiddie rollercoaster. i've been a lot more stable, been a lot more assertive, been a lot more at peace. but the issues are still there, which is fine, but i'm not really looking to the coming winter.
please continue to pray for me.
some great things have happened though since my last post. i went home in april for vacation. it was one of the best experiences i've ever had in my life. relating to my parents the way i did was the highlight of the trip. i know my parents, i know of them, i know them as parents, and to a degree, as people and as friend. but i felt as though i've gained understanding. deeper than just simply 'knowing'. it was nurturing.
.........
ahhhhhhhhhh. i have to get to work. kellie is here but mahk isn't. which is good and bad. good because mahk is too hot too handle, and bad because of the fact that i have to be here. kellie is chill, and so are the rest of the people immediately next to me. decent people that i just don't know how to relate too.
to God...
posted by Ian | 8:46 AM
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