I water Hell's Anus...
It's been excessively hot lately, 104 just last week. I live in LA County which has a decent amount of concrete for the most part, not a lot of greenery, just wonderful dark paved roads that absorb so much heat. La Mirada isn't really close to the beach enough to have a little sea breeze. Our house is a sauna. I guess the guys who did our roof and insulation got the whole "keeps the cool in the summer, keeps the warm in the winter" mixed up. Poor insulation, no central cooling, etc... So i've been miserable. Not to mention that every living green leafy thing in our back and front yard is slowly dying, which leads me to my current favorite past-time. But first a little background about me...
Background - I hate taking care of plantlife. If it were up to me, I'd have the least amount possible. Unfortunately, our corner lot is littered with them.
Ok, back to my current "favorite past-time". One of our sprinklers in our front lawn was crushed, or cracked or whatever recently and it's thrown off the pressure for the rest of the system. So basically, it doesn't work. The part of the lawn thats been dying looks really sad and barren and we even had our neighbor across the street explain to us the fundamental fact that plants need water. -(i collapsed inside) - So being that i hate gardening chores i eventually forced myself to do it, sometimes around midnight while smoking a good pipe and recently right when i get home from work.
*Ryan mentioned that with my pipe in mouth and hose in hand, that i look like your typical vintage dad. I took that as a compliment (i truly enjoy americas history from the 30s - 50s, not to mention the dirty 70s). All i needed was a newspaper folded under my armpit and a manly, vintage pink bathrobe to suit.*
With the sprinklers off i've had to stand there with a hose for about 30 minutes. I have to say (and this a shocking development), that i've never felt so relaxed. And here's another shocking thing, I LOOK FORWARD TO DOING IT WHEN I GET HOME! I shit you not, i really do. Not to mention that it's relatively cooler in comparison to the inside of Sheol, which is my house. I stand there watering the lawn and the surrounding greenery for half-an-hour! I have to admit, i have my iPod, so it does make it bearable, but still, it's really theraputic.
I know in my heart of hearts that my mom would be proud of me, and my dad would probably crap his pants if they knew how i currently felt about the lawn.
Here's to you, Ma and Pa Maghanoy
b
Background - I hate taking care of plantlife. If it were up to me, I'd have the least amount possible. Unfortunately, our corner lot is littered with them.
Ok, back to my current "favorite past-time". One of our sprinklers in our front lawn was crushed, or cracked or whatever recently and it's thrown off the pressure for the rest of the system. So basically, it doesn't work. The part of the lawn thats been dying looks really sad and barren and we even had our neighbor across the street explain to us the fundamental fact that plants need water. -(i collapsed inside) - So being that i hate gardening chores i eventually forced myself to do it, sometimes around midnight while smoking a good pipe and recently right when i get home from work.
*Ryan mentioned that with my pipe in mouth and hose in hand, that i look like your typical vintage dad. I took that as a compliment (i truly enjoy americas history from the 30s - 50s, not to mention the dirty 70s). All i needed was a newspaper folded under my armpit and a manly, vintage pink bathrobe to suit.*
With the sprinklers off i've had to stand there with a hose for about 30 minutes. I have to say (and this a shocking development), that i've never felt so relaxed. And here's another shocking thing, I LOOK FORWARD TO DOING IT WHEN I GET HOME! I shit you not, i really do. Not to mention that it's relatively cooler in comparison to the inside of Sheol, which is my house. I stand there watering the lawn and the surrounding greenery for half-an-hour! I have to admit, i have my iPod, so it does make it bearable, but still, it's really theraputic.
I know in my heart of hearts that my mom would be proud of me, and my dad would probably crap his pants if they knew how i currently felt about the lawn.
Here's to you, Ma and Pa Maghanoy
b
posted by Ian | 3:35 PM
1 Comments:
i want to see more Ian posts
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